Todd Stevenson, a local 24 year old student really fucked up hard this week. Instead of staying home and marathon-playing From Software's heavily anticipated Bloodborne like every single one of his friends, Todd decided he was going to "hit the gym." After a night of jogging, lifting, and squatting, Todd came home to a protein shake and headed to bed, while his two roommates continued to explore expansive dungeons in order to slay various creatures of the night with impossibly large magical weapons.
The real blow came to Todd on Tuesday night, while at the local bar. Although his friends were quickly able to catch the interest of a group of attractive young women, Todd struck out all night, likely because he had no experience with the gory battles and brutally difficult boss fights.
"We love Todd, and maybe someday he'll get his act together", said one of Todd's roommates. "Not everyone can stare at a screen and grind mobs until 4 a.m. and still function the next day.” Todd is currently training to run a 5k and hopes to someday finish Demon Souls. - James "Nate" Macbeth