Research performed by a national data mining company, InfoGrab, has revealed that Pokémon sales figures are actually highest among those who have been convicted of crimes related to dog fighting. Unsurprisingly, the recovering felons get a sense of satisfaction from watching their pets in physical combat with other animals. According to several psychological studies, the mentality of the standard dog fighter and a Pokémon master are nearly identical.
This alarming trend comes after recently circulating rumors that Nintendo is ignoring a sizable market demand to reboot the Nintendogs game license into a dogfighting franchise. A Nintendo representative issued a statement saying the idea was, "inappropriate, against their code of ethics, and more than just a little fucked up”. - Mike Burdette